Cookie Cooking Classes
by AllTimeNatalie
Summary: Darren wants to get off the hook for playing a prank on Mr Tall and Mr Crepsley so enlists the help of Evra to help him bake them cookies as an apology but things aren't always so easy and sometimes, you may just get into more trouble.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: ****I own no rights to CDF of the Characters. I basically own nothing in this story. XD **

**A/N: ****Hi guys, thanks for reading and thanks for all the reviews so far guys, means a lot. :D **

**SUMMARY: ****Darren wants to get off the hook for playing a prank on Mr Tall and Mr Crepsley so enlists the help of Evra to help him bake them cookies but things aren't always so easy. **

**TITLE: ****Cookie Cooking Classes **

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**Chapter 1- The Idea **

I woke up early, too early if you ask me. Evra was still snoring away in his hammock so I sat up and looked over. I'm a vampire but I have this thing, a phobia almost of coffins so I too have a hammock but I much prefer my bed back home. I haven't seen my home in years, I wonder if we still have that awful wallpaper in the dining room. Anyway, so I managed somehow to summon enough strength to push my legs over the edge of the hammock and steady myself on the floor. It felt cold under my feet and I shivered first and then warmed a little as I withstood the cold. It was the middle of winter and I was only wearing pyjama pants and I was only a half vampire so what could I expect really? I stumbled over to my clothes and changed whilst Evra was asleep and headed out into the cold. It was a freezing day, too freezing because even I was shivering and I am not someone who gets cold easily. The floor was covered with snow and as I trudged through it, I felt even colder. My feet plodded along the uneven ground and I knocked on Mr Crepsley's door. I heard a sleepy mumble so assumed that he had only just gotten to sleep. He didn't need sleep did he? No so I walked right in.

"Hey Mr Crepsley I was just wondering if…" I fell silent at the sight. Mr Crepsley, the big bad old vampire was stuck in his shirt. "Mr Crepsley?"

"Yes Darren." He replied and turned around before falling backwards over a chest and groaned.

"I'll come back late yeah?" Hiding my ever growing laughter I edged my way to the door.

"Please, if you would not mind." I nodded and headed back out into the cold. If there was one thing the tents needed it was central heating but I would never tell Mr Crepsley that. Apparently vampires don't need central heating because we are tough enough as it is but I would prefer a blanket and a cup of hot chocolate. Walking back into my tent, I fell back onto my hammock and sighed. Its pretty boring when you get up early because well, no one else is up so you just sit and wait. To my luck, Evra was up and trying to find his shorts in a trunk. I was wearing my pirate outfit Truska had kitted me out with and I have to say it is unusually warm to say it is what it is.

"Morning Darren." Evra mumbled as he searched deeper, strewing clothes across the room. I dodged a couple but a t-shirt landed on my head so I shook it off and sighed. "Have you seen my longer shorts?"

"Here's a completely crazy idea, why don't you try wearing pants instead?" My voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Oh ha, ha why don't you go and bury yourself." Evra glared at me and threw a screwed up pair of shorts at my head but I dodged them in time.

"Well if I did that, how would I help you find your long shorts?" I asked and raised an eyebrow. When he found them, I went for a walk whilst he got changed. Snake people need their privacy too and that was when I hatched an idea. Mr Tall and Mr Crepsley were talking and there was one prank which I hadn't tried out yet. I ran back to my tent and knocked before walking in. "Evra! I have had an ingenious plan!" I shouted and watched confusion cross his face.

"Go on then." He said and sat down cross-legged on the floor in front of my hammock. I crossed my legs on my hammock which is not as easy as you may think.

"Well, why don't we pull a prank on Crepsley and Mr Tall? If he's so scared of losing Octa, why don't we pretend that Octa's gone missing when really she's in a box safe and sound? They'll go mental and then we return her in the day when Crepsley's asleep so he never knows it was us." My face was glowing with child like delight and so was Evra's. He nodded and we set to work. I knew that if it went wrong, we would be in so much trouble but what the heck, I'm young I'm meant to pull pranks on people.

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**A/N:** Well? Did you like it? Reviews will keep this going by the way so if you like it then don't forget to review. ;)


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: ****I own no rights to the Mighty Boosh or the characters. I basically own nothing in this story. XD **

**A/N: ****Hi guys, thanks for reading and thanks for all the reviews so far guys, means a lot. :D **

**SUMMARY: ****Darren wants to get off the hook for playing a prank on Mr Tall and Mr Crepsley so enlists the help of Evra to help him bake them cookies but things aren't always so easy. **

**TITLE: ****Cookie Cooking Classes **

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**Chapter 2- The Prank **

"Shan to Von, Shan to Von, do you read?" A loud chewing sound emitted from the receiving end of the walky-talky and Darren simply stared in confusion.

"Yep, I read." Evra mumbled and continued to chew.

"Evra? What are you eating?" Darren asked in a hushed tone as Crepsley had begun to wake.

"A muffin." Evra replied, again muffled by the sponge and chocolate chewed up in his mouth. "Okay so I figure that you get Octa and I will carefully place her in my muffin basket." Darren rolled his eyes… a muffin basket? How long had Evra had a muffin basket and most importantly, why?

"Okay so you use your muffin basket." Darren whispered once more. "Evra, how can you still be hungry? You ate a full packet of cornflakes at breakfast."

"Darren buddy why are you whispering?" Evra shouted at the top of his voice. "What? Yeah I'll ask him. Huh? I can't hear you dude speak up." Evra shouted to Rhamus in the loudest possible voice.

"Evra I'm gonna get caug…ht." Mr Crepsley hovered over him, an un-amused expression on his face.

"Am I interrupting?" Mr Crepsley asked and raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Uh… nope, I can always make time for my favourite vampire. Evra I think I'm gonna have to call you back." He sighed and headed for the door.

One hour later, the boys found themselves sat around the camp fire staring at the frosted twigs that formed the base of the camp ground.

"What now?" Evra mumbled through his hands which covered his mouth.

"Dunno. We could always try again later on." Darren whispered back as Evra nodded.

"What harm can it do?" Darren raised an eyebrow which was contradicted by his nod of agreement. "Well I suppose we do have to do extra chores." The snake boy replied to his own question.

"Yep. A whole week of extra chores… lucky us," his voice was low and in a depressed mumble. Evra decided to put Darren out of his misery and so lifted the fabric which was covering his muffin basket to reveal Evra. "What? How? But… huh?" Darren's unanswered questions made Evra chuckle and the shocked expression wasn't helping ease his laughter.

"I just walked right in while the C man was sleeping and boom, you got a poisonous spider and that little pipe-y thing too." Evra smiled and picked up an apple from the oak tree above them.

"But didn't he wake?" Evra shook his head and bit into the fruit.

"Nope was sound asleep the whole time." Darren smirked devilishly and looked at Evra.

"This is going to be good." He chuckled just as an ear shattering scream erupted from Mr Crepsley's room. "That's the signal, get her to the tent." Evra nodded and plodded off with Madam Octa safely in the muffin basket.

**A/N: Sorry for the wait. Oh and to all those who have read 'addictions' I'll have chapter 2 back when my BETA finally gives it me. Sorry for the wait and I hope it was worth it. :D **

**Mrs O.G **


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: ****I own no rights to CDF or the characters. I basically own nothing in this story. XD **

**A/N: ****Hi guys, thanks for reading and thanks for all the reviews so far guys, means a lot. :D **

**SUMMARY: ****Darren wants to get off the hook for playing a prank on Mr Tall and Mr Crepsley so enlists the help of Evra to help him bake them cookies but things aren't always so easy. **

**TITLE: ****Cookie Cooking Classes **

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**Chapter 3- Found out **

**Okay so little snippet from the film… Darren can now flit. :D **

"Darren!" Crepsley screamed from his tent. Evra emerged from their tent and placed a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Good look my friend." Darren nodded, turned and headed towards his mentor's tent, drawing in short breaths in a panicky way. Poking his head around the door frame he smiled.

"You rang?" Darren smiled and poked his head around the door. Crepsley was red in the face with anger and stuck in a position pointing at the empty cage. "Yes, it is a cage." Darren ever-so-bluntly pointed out.

"Yes, it _is _a cage but where is my spider?" Crepsley shouted and picked up the cage. Darren shrugged and leant against the wall.

"I dunno but I can help you look." Crepsley shook his head, his head pounding with rage. "Maybe Mr Tall has it."

"No, he would have notified me. I will have to search every tent." Crepsley sighed and picked up his black cape.

"What? No." Darren grinned as he spoke, his teeth gritted.

"  
"Why? I must, she is extremely poisonous and I cannot risk it" Darren sighed and nodded. Maybe Evra had moved her. Walking into his and Evra's shared tent, Crepsley began to search. Coming across a muffin basket, he pulled them all out and found Octa in the bottom nibbling on a muffin. "Oh. That is not healthy for a spider." He sighed and turned to Darren. "Do you realise how stupid and dangerous this was? You could have killed someone. What if she escaped and bit someone? What then?" Darren stared at his mentor, shame and guilt swirling in his eyes.

"Mr Crepsley…" Before he could explain, Crepsley pushed a hand in front of his face.

"I do not want to hear it. You have let me down Darren. I trusted you. I really, really trusted you." Darren dropped his head and sighed under his breath. With that, Crepsley left and left him to ponder his words. Evra placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled.

"Come on Darren, it'll be alright buddy, it always is." Darren shook his head and fell onto the floor, pulling his knees to his chest.

"No it won't. I lost the most important thing in the world." Evra raised an eyebrow.

"World of Warcraft two?" Evra mumbled and looked at the game case. "It's over there."

"Not World of Warcraft Evra!" Darren replied and looked at the floor. "My respect from my mentor." Evra pulled Darren up and smiled.

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself and be happy for once. All these morbid thoughts are really ruining my complexion." Evra mused and walked out the door. "Follow me!" Darren ran after him, shouting,

"Who do you think you are? Jesus?" Evra chuckled and walked into a local supermarket. "What are we doing here?" Darren asked and looked at the packed shelves.

"We are going to bake them cookies." Evra smiled. "He's probably blabbing to Mr Tall now so we may as well be safe and make them both cookies. Okay so oat cookies of chocolate chip?" Darren thought for a moment and finally said,

"Oat." Evra nodded and placed the ingredients into the basket. He'd made them so many times he no longer needed a recipe. When they got to the till, Evra smiled and received a strange look from the man behind the till.

"Umm…" The man stammered and sighed, picking up a walkie-talkie from beneath the till. "Security." Evra looked at the running men and pushed a hand out.

"Evra, you aren't superman!" Darren screamed and grabbed his friend's arm. "Run!"

"I only wanted some cookie ingredients." The snake boy shouted, fighting them off with an apple he had in his trolley. "Ha, right in the face!" Darren took the basket off him and panted for air as he ran.

"Do not anger the police with fruit!" He shouted. "Jump on my back I'm gonna flit." Evra shook his head and brushed some hair from his face.

"No, I am a big boy Darren." Darren dropped his gaze to the floor and sighed impatiently.

"Well it's either that or prison and I'm already in Crepsley's bad books." Evra nodded and jumped on his friends back. "You weren't kidding." He chuckled and began to flit. When they reached the cirque, Evra hopped back onto the ground and hurried into the tent. "Well, we got this for free and a basket thrown into that package too." Darren stared at the basket and shrugged. "We can never go to ASDA again." Evra nodded and looked at his coupon book.

"Yeah, shame. Let's get started." Darren nodded and picked up to aprons and chef's hats. "Nice, you work the chef look." Darren laughed quietly before replying the complement.

"Yeah, you too."

**A/N: Sorry for the wait but here you go. Cookie making in next chapter for Limpythelimpet who said they wanted it to happen soon. :D Reviews welcome as always. :D **


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